Working on becoming a "better human" is some serious work. It makes us raw and vulnerable, it opens up our wounds from the past, and when we consider taking risks, whether it's in our work or personal life, we find ourselves questioning our worth or wondering if it's worth the rejection or potential failure.
Perhaps you are going through tough times, and it's just one thing after the other, and perhaps you are conflicted between choosing what you think will make you totally happy (but no guarantees) and what is practical and logical (the path your parents and the rest of the world would breathe a sigh of relief for).
So you are confused, but not really; just fearful. And there is no humor in it. And you meditate for answers and you can't get clarity on the next step.
Because the answers are in the present moment. And it's in the play rather than the suffering.
Instead you are bouncing between the past and future... which might offer some insight and direction, because knowing what we've been through could inform us on where we would rather be. But if you are in the throes of your karmic drama, it's likely you aren't there for insight and direction. You are there in the comfort zone of stuckness.
Just as we practice meditation to develop personal strength and clarity (right?), letting play into our moments brings in the lightness you need to stand in front of your sh*@ with neutrality, to accept the challenge, and to pay ball with the challenge that stands before you.
And when you accept it with neutrality -- when you show up unattached to the outcome but ready to make the decision that most honestly reflects you, you have activated the burn button for this karmic lesson.
In play, you don't mock the work in front of you; you don't ignore it and keep defaulting to the same pattern, you also don't take it too seriously, causing more karma. Play lightens the mood. It sheds light on the dark moment. It gives you the power to smile honestly and recalibrate the energies that surround you in support of your divine purpose. It's not easy work, but hell's not easy either, and play sure gets you there faster.
What gets in the way is our inner child that has not been given permission to fully embrace her tantrums like children do and have thereby lost the ability to tap into play. The wounded child refuses to play, but then the moment you give her the ball, she hardly hesitates to bounce it. She just needed the ball to remember, retool, and find the proper support.
I'm not done with my karmic lessons, of course. But I did have a serious one over a decade ago. It included the end of my marriage, foreclosure on our home, a repossession, bankruptcy, and sorting through the web of lies and dealing with people close to me with drug addictions. During these challenging times, I learned to play. I received each "terrible thing" that happened *to* me as another thing to burn off, and I didn't want to waste my time lengthening the process. I played ball. I stood at home base with my bat at hand, over my shoulder, ready to swing, and I said, "come at me."
I took risks with work that my parents didn't approve of, and I played with my children, scheduled playdates, taught yoga, chanted with friends, and smiled all the way through-- not hiding behind the smile, but seriously feeling the trust I had in myself and in the Universe that I was making the right decisions.
Because I knew that all I had was the present moment, and in that moment, I knew what had to come next.
Play releases the chains of the past, and of the fear of the future. It brings you back into the present moment. And it relaxes the mind and body, which attracts good things. Learning to play, and understanding that play was not a luxury was the blessing of my life. Somehow I got it and had the courage to follow it.
Learn to play. Childplay.*
Learn to trust. Level 1.
*Take a look at this, especially if you work with children in any capacity: teachers, therapists, social workers, parents, anyone with an inner child. Let's break the cycle and help children hold on to their innocence.
Kundalini Yoga Quotes:
“I’d never felt anything like it; it was just an opening of energy and a feeling of such liberation.” -Marika Bethel, owner, Glowing House