the #1 overlooked practice for good mental health

I opened up to yoga, meditation, and spirituality in the early 2000s because my early adult years were fraught with anxiety and allergies, though no one (but my then husband) knew this because I hid them well. My suffering led me down many paths towards healing, including cooking, Ayurveda, metaphysics & mindset, and the power of habits. On the other hand, I have an ex, the father of my children, who suffers from a serious mental health issue; more recently physical as well, which intensifies the mental health component, back and forth, one feeding off the other. Since early on, his suffering led him towards whatever caused the least amount of momentary pain and discomfort for him. When we first began life together, I was the one that was diagnosed with clinical depression, drinking more than I should, and having panic attacks; he felt on top of the world, or so I thought.

I was recently in a difficult discussion about him with my adult daughter who firmly believes he’s where he is because of all the wrong decisions he’s made over decades, for no other reason than it was more uncomfortable to make the right ones.

With every wrong decision, the ability to see and choose the right decisions becomes more and more difficult. Eventually, the weight of it collapses your immune system. I’ve learned to see that your truth is your immunity.

I remember working with a chef to learn how to use foods to heal, and he said that the body will crave what it needs - the right foods for the body at the right time - when the body is healthy. When it’s not, it craves exactly the thing(s) that mute the body from screaming at you to do the right thing. Hence addictions, both hard and soft.

I’ve witnessed others whose plight is not nearly as bad as my ex’s, but they experience chronic malaise, general weakness, indigestion, achiness, confusion, lack of motivation, and dread. Authenticity and truth gets confused with comfort, getting people in trouble over and over again.  

25 years ago, when my doctor and I were walking down the hall together to his office - he’s not a typical Western doctor, he’s a Western trained psychotherapist who is also trained in holistic and eastern medicine, and a student of Swami Rama of the Himalayan Institute - he asked me how I was, and I told him I had been feeling confused lately. He wasted no time. He said, Are you doing right action? Because when you do, you’ll stop being confused. You’ll get clear. 

I hadn’t even sat down yet, and he forever changed my life. 

What is right action

It’s acting in alignment with what is absolutely true for you.

In a moment of decision, there is a moment of knowing but alas it evaporates as quickly as it comes. That’s because the mind is well trained to take over in less than a split second when you hate an idea; because it’s clearly not the easy, comfortable, or convenient choice; it might even be downright terrifying.

Some of us are really good at ignoring and reasoning our truth away so fast we barely notice it ever came, yet it haunts us, we know it does. We feel it in our body.

When we are faced with a decision like this, we know almost immediately which is the right one. It’s always the one based on love (and any derivative of it) rather than fear (or any derivative of it). Beware of kidding yourself into thinking fear is reality; stop spreading that lie to yourself and others lest the world becomes one big mental illness.

If you haven’t trained yourself well enough, your brain will take over: it analyzes the pros and cons despite that you already know, it considers how your decision will make you look, assesses how uncomfortable this will be for you, see what others are doing, and looks for the safer, less emotionally risky, less objectionable path than the one you know you really want and need to follow. Your brain will say, there’s more time, you’re not ready, do it later, there are other things to take care of right now, be good to yourself, this is self care, this is too hard, it’s not meant to be.

When you keep going down that road, you become more unclear about what you want for yourself. And sometimes more “clear” that the wrong decision is the right one. Over time, with wrong choices and delays accumulate, and it gets more difficult to answer the simple questions: what do I want? What next? What’s right for me? What does joy even feel like anymore? Why am I not feeling well? Or, you simply judge others non-stop.

It won’t matter how well you eat, how much sleep you get, or how much you meditate if you don’t pay attention and act on what you need to do (and we’re not talking about your to-do list). Wellness practices like meditation, healthy eating, exercise, and community serve to clear the way so that you can act in alignment with yourself. I’ve been surrounded by wellness and spiritual junkies for long enough to know that while these practices are absolute gold, without the final part - the courage to do right action - you’re no closer to feeling well than someone who’s never done any of it.

It doesn’t mean you always have to listen to the voice of right action. It’s hard, boy do I know. You can decide from time to time to give yourself a pass for the time being. But at least acknowledge you’re not going to listen to it for the moment. And don’t bury it. Feel into the dissonance (of not going for it) and own it. The key is not to make too many wrong turns on yourself. Start preparing to ride the temporary wave of discomfort of what you gotta do so you won’t ultimately lose your mind, and so your body won’t completely betray you. 

Remember that right action is different from “responsibility” and “obligation” in many ways. Close your eyes, open your heart, and practice feeling into the difference.

The great news is, each time you do right action, you dust off a lot of confusion. Just keep going and before you know it, you’ll feel sharper, clearer, lighter, and in your power.  The other wellness practices: meditation, sleep, diet, exercise, connection - their power gets boosted from it, it’s a two-way street. And when you can’t do them, your mind and body is much more resilient and forgiving about it.

This may be enough for you to work from. 

If you want more guidance getting to your right action, I created a six week practice to help you to get there. It involves daily meditation + journal prompts to get you to the key exercises that build small but critical daily habits that inform the bigger ones. It’s never the lack of dreams. It's the breakdown of small habits that set the tone for right action. If you’re interested in learning more, go here. I keep this practice super simple for you so that it’s easy to complete in just 40 days. Trust in its simplicity. It will set you into right action.

With Love, Grit, and Gratitude, Savitree